Solitude

by Hollow Heart

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02:39
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04:24
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03:25
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03:17
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04:17

about

Solitude is a 5 track EP created by Hollow Heart toraise awareness to mental illness through the band members' experiences with states of depression, anxiety and loneliness.

credits

released November 1, 2015

Music written by Hollow Heart

Recorded and Mixed by Fletcher Matthews and Clayton Segelov at The Brain Recording Studios, Sydney

Mastered by Josh Schroeder at Random Awesome Studios, Michigan

Artworks by Damon Raffaele

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about

Hollow Heart Sydney, Australia

Sydney Melodic Hardcore band, Hollow Heart. Here, you can find all our releases, from singles to future EP's and albums.

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Track Name: Namesake
Darkness rules my life
When I think of all the times
That you were still here with me
The pretense to your existence

I smile whilst I stand above your grave
And even though I miss you
You’re the monster I slayed and the person I’m leaving behind me now

You were something inspiring
But you were never there
And you never cared for anyone
Run towards the dark
As if this was your only friend
When it was the light
That pulled you in

Sharing namesake does not make us the same

Your life was filled with gluttony and greed
Was this the person you had always wished to be?
I look at my reflection and all I see in you is me
But I am nothing like you
That’s how I set myself free

I’m nothing like you I set myself free
Track Name: Drown
Pushing myself to the brink of sanity
In a realm where I will lose myself and all I know
For my own self greed and vanity
I'm just so tired of starting again when I have tried so hard
To reach out to serenity

Keep feeding reasons down my throat
Of why I'll live my life alone
(Desperate)
I tell the world that I am happy and content
Staring faceless in the crowd
I look up to the sky when all I want to do is drown

Desolation is my only friend
The one who stood by through all my pain and my suf-fer-ing
Born to rot, and waiting to die

What's the point in living
When every step
Just leads me to death?

I will not end here
I'll wait another day
To a moment where life makes sense
The sun will shine its rays
And maybe this plague will cleanse
My happiness will stay

Please, help me find my way
Please, make everything okay
My lies lead me astray
So I need a guide to light my way

From the mess I made
From the people who made my life concave
From this mind that destroys me day by day
Just let me drown and drift away
Awaken anew without these scars
Forgetting the man who I once was
I resurface to the sea from my death
I am ma-le-vo-lant

(Desperation, Desolation)

I've tried so hard
To exorcise the demons in my heart
Torn between a soul
That wants to be selfless and kind
And watch

Everything die
Leave me with my pain
I'm just a burden of sorrow
I do not wish to remain
To see the first light of tomorrow
I'll bleed my life away
My demons are here to stay
Track Name: Solitude
Explaining My Depression to My Mother: A Conversation
Mom, my depression is a shape shifter.
One day it is as small as a firefly in the palm of a bear,
The next, it’s the bear.
On those days I play dead until the bear leaves me alone.
I call the bad days: “the Dark Days.”
Mom says, “Try lighting candles.”
When I see a candle, I see the flesh of a church, the flicker of a flame,
Sparks of a memory younger than noon.
I am standing beside her open casket.
It is the moment I learn every person I ever come to know will someday die.
Besides Mom, I’m not afraid of the dark.
Perhaps, that’s part of the problem.
Mom says, “I thought the problem was that you can’t get out of bed.”
I can’t.
Anxiety holds me a hostage inside of my house, inside of my head.
Mom says, “Where did anxiety come from?”
Anxiety is the cousin visiting from out-of-town depression felt obligated to bring to the party.
Mom, I am the party.
Only I am a party I don’t want to be at.
Mom says, “Why don’t you try going to actual parties, see your friends?”
Sure, I make plans. I make plans but I don’t want to go.
I make plans because I know I should want to go. I know sometimes I would have wanted to go.
It’s just not that fun having fun when you don’t want to have fun, Mom.
You see, Mom, each night insomnia sweeps me up in his arms dips me in the kitchen in the small glow of the stove-light.
Insomnia has this romantic way of making the moon feel like perfect company.
Mom says, “Try counting sheep.”
But my mind can only count reasons to stay awake;
So I go for walks; but my stuttering kneecaps clank like silver spoons held in strong arms with loose wrists.
They ring in my ears like clumsy church bells reminding me I am sleepwalking on an ocean of happiness I cannot baptize myself in.
Mom says, “Happy is a decision.”
But my happy is as hollow as a pin pricked egg.
My happy is a high fever that will break.
Mom says I am so good at making something out of nothing and then flat-out asks me if I am afraid of dying.
No.
I am afraid of living.

You will never remember my face
For I am nothing to you

I have sacrificed my whole life
Into thinking I was something more than worthless
Track Name: Impoverished
Across the world in the blink of an eye
On a journey to seek new breaths of life
Self searching in foreign lands
Hoping to be a better man

Poverty, no wealth in sight
I search for a new beginning
The aspiration of what I might do here
Will leave a legacy in my own mind and heart

Outcasted from their own society
These people have been given no chance

Across the world in the blink of an eye
On a journey to seek new breaths of life
Self searching in foreign lands
Hoping to be a better man

Losing myself in these wastelands
Losing hope in humanity
Who am I to teach
When I have never really lived
And I am left with nothing to choose
And nowhere to hide
And then I hear these words from impoverished youth

Where I’m poor in wealth
I'm rich in knowledge

I can never forget these words
I cannot lose sight
Of what is real in my life
And who would think
And who would think
That such few words
Could have such meaning
Track Name: Fragility
This world on your shoulders
I know that it is hard to bear
Feelings of solitude
Just know the weight can be shared
Don't be misguided by hate in others
Follow your heart, let your mind guide you

Life is yours to make from the very start
Fate is a lifeless shadow in the dark
His Existence was never important
I've walked these nights alone

But you don't have to be like me

Moving forward into prosperity
The person you were is not the one you will become
Cut the anchors beneath you

This world on your shoulders
I know that it is hard to bear
Feelings of solitude
Just know the weight can be shared
Don't be misguided by hate in others
Follow your heart, let your mind guide you

I only admire my heart
After beaten by worlds of hate
I only show love
To those around me

Fight against the fears that hold you back
But never give up on who you are
What drives you to a future unclear
My sights are set to the unknown
And though I'm scared

This is why I must stand alone
My path I must endure on my own
To see the man above is nothing but a lie
I chose this life of light to guide me
Through a world of darkness
That wants to end me
But that won't fucking happen